Evil and Mental Illness

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by Ben Huot


You are now in the 5th Generation Subsection of the Writing Section

June 28, 2023

Being mentally ill is not a consequence of sin
Being mentally ill does not mean you are evil
Being mentally ill does not mean you are abnormal spiritually

Yes mental illness is a hot button issue
Some people see mental illness as a way
To promote what they call diversity
Some people see it being used
To justify people committing sin

But severe mental illness like Schizophrenia
Is disabling beyond the more visible disabilities
Schizophrenia is hard to treat
Because people won’t admit they need help

Part of this is cultural in that we think
The worst thing to happen is to lose our ability to reason
And people in our culture like to fight until the end
To prove they are right

We are unwilling to consider that
We are the ones that have the problem
Basically we are unwilling
To look for help because of our pride

This I think comes from the obsession to pursue objectivity
And suppress or ignore the emotionally aspects of who we are
Our society values what we perceive as rational

Basically we cannot grasp the concept
That we can be wrong about many things
And that this is reasonable to be that way

Pride is the path to evil according to the Bible
Being willing to admit mistakes
Is also the way to salvation
God doesn’t like our arrogance
Because we have a very humble and merciful God

What brought sin into this world was the arrogance of the devil
To think he could win in his struggle against God
And our arrogance to think we knew better than God

We could not even follow one rule
Which God had designed to
Allow human freedom without evil being possible

Just as much as God cares about social justice
He also cares about right and wrong and order in His creation

God is merciful but He is also just
He is perfectly good and all powerful
But also humble and kind

Many want to embrace only one side or the other
But God transcends our desire to put Him into a box
God wants more than us just praying for Him to save us

This is not a way to get close to God or anyone else
We need to appreciate what He already has done for us
And listen to what He says
Otherwise we really care about no one except ourselves

We cannot have peace with God
Without peace with people
And peace with the other life in our environment
And vice versa

Most people have an agenda
As an existentialist I do not believe
It is possible to be objective
Outside of God Himself and His word, the Bible

Many people today like the idea of
Convincing others of their ideas
But are unwilling to hear or consider ideas
That conflict with theirs

We are all this way to an extent
But for people to say they are beyond this
And yet say such obviously subjective comments
Truly is hypocritical and intellectually dishonest

In order for us to understand the world
We must first understand God and then ourselves

So when we think about disability in our world today
Some people think that the biggest problem is prejudice
Other think our biggest problem is that we lack faith

The biggest problem from someone who lives with Schizophrenia, myself
Is the disease itself

I think it is great that we have
All the modern technologies and understanding
That make many disabilities less disabling today

Other than the worship of God
This is probably the very best thing
We can do with technology and inclusive education

But none of this really applies to Schizophrenia
The thing that would make things easier for me
Would be making technology simpler
And have a society that is
Less angry and hostile to each other

One of the big things I struggle with is depression
Which also physically hurts as well
And seeing the world falling apart
Because of reasons both sides are responsible for
At the same time I become a senior citizen

I look forward to eternity and this gives me hope
But we are literally making our world into a hell
By our destruction of the environment,
Cruelty towards all life forms,
And our rejection of God and His message

But the paranoia is just as painful and physical as well
Paranoia is like fear but much greater
And it is very real to the ones feeling it

The things that give me paranoia are a bunch of specific things
Some that many other people have mere phobias about

Paranoia for me causes a lack of trust in society
And my personal relationships
I do not trust anyone fully

The only things I believe that are absolutes
Are the Bible and the Christian God
I trust God will do what He has promised

One of the things that increases my distrust
Is the surveillance capitalism
And lack of trust exhibited by the government
In regards to its citizens
Without following our constitution (due process)

Certainly anyone who thinks this is justified
Should not be able to call themselves a patriot
This is after all the same thing we claimed
We fought huge wars for decades over

But on a personal level I appreciate how
My family has helped me over the years
And I have found a great church in my community

I know God is doing what is best for me in the long term
And the Veterans Healthcare seems to be
Getting better as private medicine is getting worse

A big part of dealing with Schizophrenia
Besides taking the medicine regularly
Is having a low stress life

One of my big stressors was maintaining
A very ambitious website for 25 years

Recently I have had some physical health issues as well
Some requiring little more than medicine
And others requiring major lifestyle adjustments

I am also stressed by hearing
All the health problems people often get as they age
Due to my involvement in my local church

I am also reducing my stress
By making sure I am well stocked
With things to do to keep me busy

That has been a long term strategy
I have discovered by accident over time

That distraction from mental health symptoms
Can be fairly effective
Given I stay on my medicine
And can get enough sleep

There are more health issues in my life today
But I also feel better able to deal with them

I found out recently that it is unusual for me
To only have one psychotic episode
That I needed to be (voluntarily) hospitalized for

The COVID era was easy for me
As I saw my family more often since then

And I had already adjusted
To the world as we know it ending abruptly
During the 2008 economic crisis

I seem to be losing weight now as well
There are many positive things going on in my life
As well as many challenges
I am cautiously optimistic things will improve in general

But my paranoid side is not so sure
It is difficult to predict the future because society is complex
And there is so much we do not know
Although few scientists will admit that today