My Cup Overflows

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by Ben Huot

You are now in the 5th Generation Subsection of the Writing Section

June 28, 2023

God has been a constant blessing
And a force for good
Within my life

God worked behind the scenes
During my military service
So that now I have dependable income

That was definitely a miracle
Few people leave the military early
With an honorable discharge

God has given me the gift of
Being willing to admit I need help
And the gift of tenacity

All the medicines worked for me
The Lord has given me the ability
To question my impulses
And to doubt what seems real

Without God I would be a much worse person
I never had to be homeless or in prison
I never had to experience the gas chamber again
I have never been in debt

God has given me the ability to write and create graphics
God has spared me from disorganized thought
That most people with Schizophrenia have
That makes it impossible to write

My mental pain had decreased over time
For the most part
The medicines reduce my pain
So this motivates me to stay on them

I have had more confidence in my life
Than I would without God

I would likely not be alive now
If God did not get me out of the military early

I am thankful that I have so much
Both materially and spiritually

I am well looked after
God has saved me numerous times
When I have had spiritual attacks

I have learned much from my parents
Even long after I came back from the military

I have had the opportunity
To learn about computers for 25 years
So I can both protect myself
To the degree that is possible

And give others good advice about technology
As I am still able to read
Which is uncommon for people with Schizophrenia

I have become more patient over time
I am able to tolerate sitting
Through an entire church service now
I have also been blessed with a very good church

I have been blessed with not having to follow the news

God has made my life very safe
I do not need to travel
And I have no desire to do so

I have had the resources, time, and tenacity
To build a very good library
Of speculative fiction, world literature, and Bible reference

I have moved into several apartments
At just the right times
For reason I only found out years later

I have had the opportunity
To reach a global audience
With my writing for 25 years and counting

I have too much content for even 2 websites
I have been able to use the same technology
And provider for over 15 years

I have had an easier time doing things for myself
I put together a gaming chair
And a utility storage shelving
All by myself

I have not lost anything important
That I created on the computer

I never had to take out any loans for college
I did poorly in some classes
But was able to later get retroactive withdrawals

I have been able to translate my website
Into many languages

I have been able to get better at explaining myself
Both in writing and speaking

I have been able to give good insights and advice
For others suffering with Schizophrenia

I have only had to be in psychiatric unit once
And have been on medicine since then

I have been blessed with being able to write
Several thousand pages
And had improved enough
That half of it I do not have on my websites anymore

God has given me the foresight
To use plural in most my writings
So I do not offend anyone with other genders

I have an apartment that seems cool
Without a fan or air conditioning

I live in the best part of my country
And in the best country in the world
To live in

I have very close family support
An God also gave me the ability
To not alienate them withs strange behavior

I had the blessing to be diagnosed with Schizophrenia
Shortly before 9/11
I have never had to go back into the military