Being on Sedatives

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by Ben Huot

You are now in the 5th Generation Subsection of the Writing Section

June 28, 2023

When you are dead tired
When you are so exhausted you cannot stand
When you feel tired deep within your bones
When you wake up after a long sleep and you are still tired
When you can sleep all night and day indefinitely

Like when running a series of wind sprints

Like going on a hike for several miles
While holding something in your hands

Like preparing for camp in the rain
Just before dark and before eating

Like waking up from sleeping
All night on your hand

Like watching an entire series of TV shows
Without a break

Like fasting for 3 days
And still doing your normal work

Like trying to run after
Eating potatoes or drinking alcohol

Like trying to run a race in the afternoon
After doing squats that morning

Like when you are woken up at 4 am
And having to do intense exercise before breakfast

Like running 10 miles uphill

Like when you come back from work at 5am
And have to wait 4 more hours to get into urgent care

Like running up and down stairs for an hour

Like writing a research paper
The night before it is due

Like trying to climb up a rope
Or do a pull-up

Like constantly doing chores
While training to be a leader

Like when your clothes are all
Soaked through with sweat

Like when you are so hot at night
That you sweat all the way through your sheets

Like having mononucleosis and hydrating so much
That you have to urinate every half hour

Like getting less than 3 hours sleep
So you can finish polishing your boots

Like being so tired that even being terrified
Does not even keep you awake

Like being so tired
You have to pry your eyes open
To stay awake

Like working all night on a design
And finding out in the morning
You have to do it again from scratch

Like getting up early for surgery
But not being able to eat or drink

Like prepping for a colonoscopy the night before

Like cooking all night
And doing a full day of school afterwards

Like trying to focus on studying
When having a pink eye infection

Like when your knee pops out of place

Like when your hand starts to freeze
Due to holding your metal cane

Like having your hand cramp up from using a crane
But having much farther to go

Like when you walk home with groceries so heavy
That you have to stop after 2 steps

Like when you have done so many push-ups
That you arms fail on you

Like running 5 miles in the afternoon
After skipping lunch every day

This is an rough illustration of how tired
The medicine I take for Schizophrenia makes me

The military prepare me well
To deal with being tired all the time