Cost of Service

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by Ben Huot

You are now in the 5th Generation Subsection of the Writing Section

October 11, 2022

There is a cost to everything
Even being creative has a cost
As does serving God without rest

Typing in the dark
Falling asleep next to my phone

Habits are easy to form
Even without notice
But almost impossible to break

I try not to speak of things
Which I have no knowledge of

But dwelling on just a few things
Or being burdened by work to complete
Is something I can speak of

The devil does not love you
And he hides behind many things
We may think are good and beautiful

But Christ is hiding in plain sight
In even the darkest places

I try not to lie but I have fallen for lies
That we can still be comfortable with the world
And still be Christian

Or that we can do anything but fight evil actively
And live in submission to God
This is a very dangerous place to be

I try to document what I learn
So others can learn from my mistakes
But some things are hard to explain
And I don’t want to interest others
Or advertise ways too screw up your life

I once thought it was ok to have one vice
Or that good things could not be abused
But many are addicts to good things
Like food and work

You cannot remain neutral politically today
And the same situation exists spiritually

It is true that you can go to church, read the Bible, and pray
And still not be at peace
Although this is all helpful and powerful

But once you decide to never stop fighting
Stop trusting yourself at all
Realize you need God for everything
Have your heart broken
And seek God more than anything else in your life
Things will start to get better

Everyone’s path is different
Even amongst Christians
But what will save you will always be the Holy Spirit
And it will often take time

The pain of hurting God must increase enough
And the belief that God can break any curse
Becomes so real
That the darkness in your heart
Is thrown out and banished

Some in the secular world
Call this cognitive dissonance
At some point sin either causes death
Of your pride or your spirit

I remember I was surprised when
I saw someone who was both mentally ill and in a wheel chair
It is actually common to have multiple disabilities
Or multiple addictions

Christians today should know
That we are not as strong as we think we are
Do not trust yourself

Do not be afraid to follow God
Following God has meaning
Trusting yourself has none

Most suffering is caused by sin
Not by following God

You need to serve God with all your heart, mind, and soul
There its no way to do it part way
This is my experience

Don’t be afraid to talk back to the devil
Just realize that you should never take him on without Christ
And never seek him out
The power of evil is real

But Christ can and does win every time
You allow Him to in your life

Victory is not always visible to everyone
Even as the attacks are not either

You can have peace with God or the devil
Never can you have both

Serving God is hard
You have to make the same decision
Over and over again

But God will give you peace about it
And God will make sure certain things happen
So you will conquer if you care to

The self has to die completely
For Christ to give you complete peace

But the attacks will never stop regardless
They are actually proof what you are doing is significant
And you are on the right track

The devil is stubborn
And he will never admit defeat
Even though he has lost the war long ago

And each Christian will engage in this battle
Working out their faith with fear and trembling

Christians will eventually outlive the devil
And be free forever
With no suffering at all