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by Ben Huot

www.benjamin-newton.com

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December 14, 2021

person in corn maze
Home it not here
Home is with someone you love
Home is in the past
Home is in the future

I need not fear my future
Because it is with the Lord

Looking back from here
Gives me something to gauge the future with
One things that is consistent
Is nothing is written in stone

True the future is uncertain
But the flip side of this means
We still have freedom
As individuals as well as a species

We know we still have hope
Because we know God has not abandoned us
I stand with God because of this

I cannot even dream of being ashamed of the Gospel
If God is willing to work with me
Why on earth would I reject Him?

I am not like those in the Bible
Save maybe Lazarus
And he was already dead
But even he was used by God
That I find greatly encouraging

How can we fear the future
If we don’t even know what it is?
How can we underestimate God
When we cannot even measure His power?

Why is patience so hard?
Why do we give up so easily?
Even the greatest Christians
Gave up easily at first

If literal enemies worked together
To build the early Church
And someone was made leader
Who had no prior interest in following God
We really do underestimate God

When we see the evil within our own hearts
This can scare the bravest of us
Sometimes I feel I have as much control over my life
As a stuffed toy or a decorative pillow

As the sun rises each day
I am reminded of how beauty and joy
Can persist even at the darkest of times

I remember in the military
Feeling I had no power and no protection
But God came in out of nowhere
And ordered me back home

Sometimes I wonder if I write
Purely for my own encouragement
I sometimes worry about what future
There will be for my life’s work

But God could create greater writings
Off the top of His head
And they would be more relevant
Than the best I could imagine

God not only has better writing skills
But He even understands our point of view
Better than we do ourselves
As He know things about us that we do not

None of us have any insights God does not have
Nor ability nor useful circumstances
It makes me wonder what the missing ingredient is
What do we need to bring the world to God?

Better yet what do we need
To reform our own thoughts and actions?

Maybe I am too ambitious
I know I am not very patient
There are so many things we miss
And so many things we do
That we know we should not

If there is anything that needs to happen
God will make sure it does
Often He uses other people for this as well

In many ways we are like enlisted soldiers
We have detailed instruction and supervision
At every step of the assignment
In the form of the Holy Spirit

Sometimes it is difficult with no script to follow
As the Bible gives so few specific directions
When you read the Bible much is comforting
But God never promises we will not suffer
This is not comforting

The Bible goes on to say we will likely suffer in this life
And even more so than unbelievers
Heaven is worth this and Christ even more
But how can we endure when the fear holds us back?

I proceed with caution
As I know too well of the consequences
Of volunteering for dangerous duty
No one else steps forward for good reason

I need to learn from my past mistakes
God saved me in the pit of my despair
But just because God saves you once
Does not mean you can expect it
The second time around

I have the faith to believe if it is God’s will
And if it is God’s will for it to happen now
It is happening period

But how do we know something will happen
If it does not say so in the Bible clearly?
Sometimes that leaves little to go on

I just wish God would place a limit
On how much pain a person can experience
Before they die

The world the Bible describes
And further eludes to
Is a bigger and wilder world
Which rightfully scares anyone
With sufficient imagination


The truly scary things is when the pain
Is worse than you imagined
For many 70 years is not long enough
For me it is too long