Trust in the Lord

skip to content

by Ben Huot

You are now in the 4th Generation Subsection of the Writing Section

July 17, 2022

The journey has already been long
The battles continue
And they are changing
But some things remain the same

In a story the characters
Have the same names throughout
But many things about them
Evolve over time

A good author will grow their characters
But the theme remains the same
There are only a handful of basic plots
In life they occur in each generation

When I think of where I started my journey
I first think of Basic Training in the Army
But the journey started long before
And the same struggles continue

The roots of the problems run deep
And there is no obvious solution
I only know the source of the solution
Is from the Holy Spirit

When I was young it was easy to be encouraged
And it was an easier and more peaceful time period
As I grow older I trust the future less and less
Not only do I trust in no one save The Lord
I do not trust myself either

I have travelled little distance
In my life story
But the internal struggle has been very eventful

God has always been there with and for me
From the very beginning
From some of my first memories

I was saved as a child
Even before I could read

And I asked to be baptized
And was as soon as I fully understood
The implications of my decision

It is true that my lack of trust
Started in the military
But world events and contemporary life
Re-enforced these thoughts and feelings

Over my life I have fought a number of things
Many dealing with thoughts and feelings
I have less control over
Because of how I was born
And my military service

I have recently realized my training in the military
Was very well designed
For what we deal with in this generation

I have had several mystical experiences
All painful and I would have avoided all
If I knew beforehand

Some times we feel closer to God
In times of trial and tribulation
But there are also times of quiet
When it appears God is closer as well

It is hard to take time to listen and be patient
Certainly God values these attributes
As He constantly listens and is patient with us

When I think of some of the things
I still do not understand about God, life, and Scripture
I think of how dense the disciples could be at times

I often take too long
To break old habits
Some more costly than others

I need to be more willing to wait
For God’s help

The entirety of our life
Is like being in a waiting room

We really are only here
For a very short time
But it sure feels like a lot

Sometimes when in pain
Time slows down so much
Or even stops entirely
That we perceive
An eternity passed by

For all the things
I would have done differently
Had I known what I know now

One thing I do not regret
Is my eternal choice
To place my faith in Christ

And believe in
All He has promised us

And as I take on the crosses
He has for me to bear
I thank God that He takes time for me

And I look forward
To spending more time with Him
Both in the quiet times
In this life but also in the next