Internal Struggle for Peace

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by Ben Huot

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How do I struggle for peace
Within my very soul?
Is not a war I can see
Nor do I have any weapons

It is an internal conflict
We all face to varying degrees

It is a competition between wills
That we need to choose to lose
To have victory over ourselves

I really believe my greatest enemy
Is myself

People understand physical pain
And many also emotional pain
But the biggest fight is
Between God and ourselves

We fear evil forces and the devil
And we should
But we should fear
Our own decisions more

Fighting for our own good
Is easy to understand
Or even fighting for others

But attempting to defeat our own will
Is much harder to understand
Why would a person not trust themself?
How does the heart divide within a person?

Schizophrenia is a split
But not between personalities
It is a split between fantasy and reality
But there is a split between
All of our hearts as well

In dealing with insurgents and freedom fighters
We seek to win hearts and minds
God does as well
But rebellion from God is not the same
As endorsing certain political figures or ideas

Not embracing the values of this world
Is a way of finding God in this life

God seeks to win our hearts
Not because He needs to win
He never lost
He fights for us
And He won this war long ago

We are fighting a stubborn enemy
And so there are many battles
Still to take place

We often think getting more stuff
Will make us happy

Some seek mastery of their minds
Through greater discipline
And many think evil can be overcome
By merely trying harder

But serious struggles
Require us to bring God’s power
And authority to the conflict

It is true that the devil is weak
Compared to God
But compared to us
He is very powerful

This is why we need to resist
And resolve our blocks
That keep us from getting closer
In our relationship with God

Many Christians think of God
As a drinking buddy
But the relationship is more like
A really kind Authority Figure
A perfect Father
Or a Boss you can truly respect

We often see these things as incompatible
We need to dream bigger

In seeking victory over ourselves
We must choose God
As our Authority Figure

Many think that God is already in control
So this does nothing
Others think they want to be free

The reality is that we were never meant
To live independently of God
We were meant to serve
And not to lead ourselves

Whenever we think of our rights
Or our freedom to express ourselves
And raise this preference
Higher than what God asks us to do
This is when we make an idol for ourselves

Most people do not worship the devil directly
In American culture today
We make ourselves to be gods

When we do not voluntarily
Choose God as our master
We are implicitly choosing to serve
The god of this world

God is the Ultimate Power
In every and all realities
But He has given us the right
To choose who we will serve

This is a binary decision
It is not an essay question

There are many way to express ourselves
Even in our faith

But there are certain spiritual realities
Like the laws of physics
That work consistently
Whether we like them or not

So it is in the spiritual world
If you choose to express yourself
By expecting gravity to work differently
Just because you want it to

This is a sure way to get seriously hurt
The same goes with spiritual realities