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Benjamin-Newton.com and Cloudy.diamonds Books Online in Parts by Ben Huot

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Best of Introductions Series 4-8

by Ben Huot

November 8, 2020

in more formats

First Things

Real Love

She is The Only One

Conversations with God

Walking with God

Times of Life

Psychology of Water

What are We Waiting For?

A New Kind of Peace

God is Not Boring

Concluding Prayer

Time for God

Rhythm in Doubt

Young Earth

Waiting Time

First Things


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Real Love

To most people today

Romantic love is the highest bar

So do today’s prophets

And artists and singers

Preach this message

That sex is love

But there is so much more to romance

And a romantic worldview

Sexual love is seen as the holy grail of faith

It is todays standard way to find joy in life

Does it take less faith

To believe in a loving God

Than to believe that fate will deliver

Faith that it will bring true love

Faith that the love you find in another

Will make yourself happy

That the love will be based on honesty

That the lover will be faithful

That the love will be enough

To survive the storms of life

Can another person make you happy

Can a person alone satisfy you

How can someone that doesn’t know you completely

Give you all that you need

How can a person that does know you perfectly

Accept you for who you are

It is truly a greater thing

To believe in love

Than to believe in God

It takes a greater leap of reason

To finding real peace

In the arms of another person

Truly it is great falling in love

But what is it to those who cannot

Those who are too old, ugly, or picky

To those who no one can love

Because they have so many problems

To those who never meet the right person

To those who cannot afford to wait that long

Romantic love is for the few

Can you really be true to another forever

Can they even to the end of this life

God accepts all and is always faithful

Not only can God truly love us

He does so while knowing who we truly are

He can do this because of who He is

Both Creator and Savior

Only He can bring the peace

That is absent in people

The joy of knowing the God of the universe

Cares about even us little peons

That He became one of us

And showed us how to truly love one another

He knew this was necessary

Before He even created us

Why He loves us is a mystery

But it is the most real love we will ever experience

It is the most genuine acceptance

Of who we really are

We associate love with sex today

But romance is really much more

Romance is not just sex

Anymore than God is just human

She is The Only One

Can a person be too kind?

Can a person be truly good?

Dropped straight from Heaven

Like an angel walking among us

Wise as a prophet in Scripture

Sharp in mind and soul as a diamond

The best human counselor

The softest heart and strongest mind

Spontaneous in spirit and subtle in decision-making

Of the highest order of service and sincerity

She becomes brighter each day

And stands out more at night

Even if she now walks a little slower

And is a little less steady in stride

She is more careful with others feelings

And more gentle in words

She has fought the good fight with pain and illness

With honor and distinction

With each decision her family grows closer

Her only critic is herself

Always a Mary at heart

But a Martha in action

She has the inner strength

To make mountains move

She is faithful and true

Her candle never grows dim

Her faith is like a lighthouse

She is always ready to see the Lord

She is the subject of the Sermon on the Mount

Her life is a beatitude

Conversations with God

I cannot stop talking

Of what the joy of the Lord brings

I cannot speak enough

Of what God has done for me

Each day I hear His voice

Each night He hears mine

I do not stop to pray

Because I never stop my conversation

With my Creator and Redeemer

In each frustration I experience

He guides me through the thorns

When I struggle as the sea does against the sand

He stands watch over me without ever blinking

There are times when doubt fills my mind and heart

Sometimes I can barely see as the glory of God blinds me

I constantly need to stretch my mind to wrap my head

Around what He reveals to me

I fight to get the words out before I forget them forever

For some thoughts of God there are no words

Language can only take you so far

The Bible keeps being written a new each reading

On the hearts of His people

Who can really understand what God says

Who can truly master the word of God

We cannot understand the mind of God

Anymore than we can be perfect morally

How difficult it is to conceive of God’s point of view

Even when we praise Him

We are just saying what is true

Just as God cannot swear on anything higher than Himself

So our worship is merely a restatement

Of what everyone already knows is both truth and fact

When we turn our face from God

We act out in sin

We understand why we need to fear God

When we ask to be forgiven

We cannot truly understand why He chooses to do so

Sin and evil are a mystery to many

But I think God’s mercy is harder to explain

But God can only be approached with an appropriate attitude

With honesty and sincerity is where the conversation must start

Just as God always accepts us unconditionally

We must never disown Him

We blame God for evil

But who are we to criticize God

He is blameless but we are not

When we accept we need Him

But He does not need us

Our journey of faith has truly started

Until we die we cannot estimate how strong God is

And how weak we are

But faith is not about knowledge

Faith is about worship and acceptance of our reality

Faith is about accepting how much we need God

Faith is about hating evil

But not evil-doers

Faith is an expression of loyalty and respect

But also love and gratitude

Faith is how we understand God

As there are no words that can truly bring us close to Him

As living through a problem too big for us to solve

To bring us victory over things we know not how to fight

Just as the laws of physics need to happen for the universe to exist

So must God be worshipped

Walking with God


Like the first person

Taking a step onto a new Earth

At the other end of the galaxy

Will it be a giant desert

Or a water world

We think we need

The biggest rush possible

Or life is not worth living

I propose a middle road

Where we live lives of dignity

A life that we can all live

A life striving for greater morality

Not for more money, power, and stimulation

A relatively quiet life

In a relatively rural location

Not very important

To the outside world

Is the best we can find here

The sage is said to know all

Without every traveling anywhere

How far did Jesus travel

What great school did He graduate from

Was He royalty, military leader, or wealthy merchant

God who can go anywhere or do anything

Chose to spend His time

Talking to ordinary people

While living as an ordinary person

He healed His people

And rescued them from the consequences of their actions


God can count even if we cannot

Eternity is greater than 75 years

Why even focus on something so little

When you have so much more opportunity

And so much more of your life

If the greatest experiences of your life

All happened after you became an adult

How many greater things await you

After your death

We fight incessantly for wealth and power

But in Heaven the streets and walls

Are all made of gold and precious stones

If you can say you are truly happy

If you can say you experience real peace

Why does it matter if you own anything

Many take drugs to be happy

With the little they have

Many who are wealthy take drugs

Because they are still unsatisfied

If you could get to the perfect balance

Without chemicals that can be poisonous

And without putting your life at risk

Why not try things God’s way for once

We have as a society and as individuals

Tried finding joy under every rock

With every human vice or remedy possible

You cannot control your path to pleasure

Your drug of choice is then the one in control

If you cannot have freedom

To do what you don’t really want to do

Why are you afraid to have the freedom

To do what you really want to do

If your Creator diagnoses you as needing a treatment

Don’t you think you should at least try it

You have tried everything else under the sun

But you will only find God

When you search for Him

With everything you have inside you

Taking the plunge off the cliff

Hand in hand with God

Awakening from your present dream world

You can follow Him

Beyond the sorrow of now and here

You don’t have to wait to die

To experience His joy and peace

You will have to give up all the things

You once thought would bring you happiness

You once thought would bring you meaning

You once thought would satisfy


What is truly different

And hasn’t ever been tried

That will save the world from us

We need to really change our minds

By changing our allegiance

Instead of Americans or Earthlings

We accept the universal Christian label

As we are accepted into a bigger

Yet more intimate family of God

We have proven we all have

The maturity of young children

And desperately need better leaders

If you are looking for an ideology

More radical than any other

Try what Christ did as a role model

But that only starts one you truly commit

By first renouncing your previous opinion leaders

The government wants your money

God wants your heart

And both want you to follow their laws

Make peace with both

Commit to become a better you


Pass through the water and into eternity

Humble yourself down below your Creator

He will then raise you back up

Unto life more abundant

Sometimes one decision

Changes your entire life

The hard part is that this is not

Just a one time decision

You need to live your life

Like you are committed to it

But God will always give you

The strength to stay with Him

You will lose the faith

From time to time

Just come back right away

He will always be there for you

Hw always believed in you

Will you not believe in Him

If we ask who is more likely to exist

God or me

I have so say there is more evidence for God

We are different people each day

But God is the same forever

He now calls us friends

Because we know His plans

Join God hand in hand

And follow His lead into eternity

Times of Life


I have had times of great fear

My entire military service and ever since


I have had times of great joy

In my high school years and my memories of it


I have had times of great depression

When we realized the world might end soon in 2008


I have had times of deep insight

Often when I get ideas to write


I have had times of great loneliness

Many times I talked to my father about


I have had times of great frustration

When I couldn’t get something to work


I have had times of great confidence

After I have written something


I have had times of great doubt about myself

When I think of how easy it is to get hurt really bad


I have had times of great anger

When I watch the news (of evil being done)


I have had times of great insignificance

When I reflect on who God is


I have had time of great excitement

When I learn about other times in history


I have had times of great passion

When I put together ideas


I have had times of great impatience

When I have to wait for things


I have had times of great peace

When I pet my stuffed toys


I have had times of great worry

When I try to explain myself to others


I have had times of great severity

When discussing computers


I have had times of great hope

When I look forward to eternal life


I have had times of great weariness

Ever since my diagnosis of Schizophrenia

Psychology of Water


Nothing is softer than a drop of water

Nothing is clearer than the sound of thunder

Nothing is as unclear as the edges of a cloud

Nothing is more intense than the reflection of the sun off of water

Nothing is as cold as a coat soaked in water

Nothing is as clean as when the soap makes contact with water and cloth

Nothing is more common than water on earth

But most of it we can never drink

Our form of life needs water to live

We fight wars over it and build entire civilizations around it

The water below is another world like the sky above

This parallel world is full of life unlike ours


Nothing hurts less to the open wound than pure water

Nothing cools hot coals faster than water

We are born again by passing through water

While many are afraid of drowning in it

Transforming rocks to sand and metal to rust

Nothing infiltrates as subtlety as water

Nothing transforms human creations more than water


The repeating sound of a rainstorm

Beating the side of the building

Like a drummer’s stick

The rain hits the window so hard

It is surprising the glass doesn’t break

Sometimes I feel as cold inside

As winter rain with a leaking jacket

Sometimes the water just soothes

It is easier when it burns less inside my heart

For what is right and for what is not

Water can make you feel new like nothing else

It feels as if you no longer carry a burden

Dreams are like water

Soft but intense at the same time

Sometimes I feel like someone dropped

A bucket of water on me

Sometimes I feel so little control

That I might not make it to the bathroom in time


It is in our waking dreams

That we plan our goals

And fantasize about possibilities

To experience better feelings about life

Is waking not like walking through a waterfall

With your eyes closed

Is not the sunrise better than the sunset

Isn’t the sunset the beginning and the sunrise the end

We spend more time in the dark than the light

We put more effort into changing

Things we have no control over

Surely we can do greater things

In the heat of the day

Than in the cool of the night

Especially when it stops raining

What are We Waiting For?


I am not patient sometimes

Other times it is easy

The scary and the painful

This is what is hard to deal with

It is not death but aging

It is not the end but the journey

I fear those things I cannot prepare for

I fear those things which cannot be avoided


I do not fear being old

Or getting slower and weaker

I take confidence in protection

From what God has promised

But even faithful Christians suffer

More than we think should happen

It is unfair to blame God

For the mistakes we have made

For things He has never promised


Simply waiting through the boredom

As a person standing in line

For a very long time

Waiting for love or companionship

Never experiencing adventure or romance

Never being important or even useful

These are easier to accept


Being a peon has its advantages

Being useless is one of the greatest protections

People now fight for fame

Until their lives are destroyed

By jealousy and revenge

If I had to choose

Between boredom and suffering

I would always choose boredom


Many fear plateauing in their faith

But if it is a high plateau

Doesn’t that mean you have previously

Ascended a tall mountain

To be finished with your trials

Is one of the greatest feelings

To have finished creating something

Is a joy in and of itself


It is understandable to fear suffering

But fearing loneliness and rejection

That only requires a little waiting

In light of this being a very short life

Even ninety years is little in terms of eternity

Suffering is different in that time is accelerated

Ninety minutes in waiting is not the same

As nine minutes of suffering


We only understand the world

From our point of view

And whether or not you can explain away

Someone else’s trials

Does not make them easier

I would be reasonable to be more afraid

Of hurting others

But more honest to be more afraid

Of our own painful experiences


Pain is more real than boredom

And suffering outdoes any distraction

If only I had the strength of mind

To overcome the fear and the pain

If only we could make reality change

To experience only the good or ordinary

It is selfish to care about yourself

More than you do others

But it is also human to be selfish


Sacrifice is not so difficult

Depending on what you give up

Some things hurt more than others

Some things are easier to do without

Patience is easy

When you don’t add pain or fear

Which effectively amplifiers the suffering


When we think of the sacrifices of Christ

And choose not to respond in kind

To prevent the suffering of others

This makes us realize how weak and common we are

When I think of whether I would be a hero

Or whether I would rather just hide in shame

It does not hurt as much to be called a coward

Than it does to have the pain of the victim


We think we are good people

Until we realize we have sacrificed nothing

When others were in pain

How much would we take the punishment of others

Just because we are kind

Can we even call ourselves true believers

If we cannot accept persecution silently

If we cannot hurt so others do not

Are we real followers of Christ

Would we do better to admit that to unbelievers

So that better Christians could serve better examples


How can we consider ourselves disciples

And lecture others about morality

When we are unwilling to confront our own demons

How can we be fallen and yet lights for others

If our faith is only lukewarm

How can we serve as the salt of the earth


Some fear death

Some fear boredom

All fear pain

How do you accept the pain and still act

This is what heroism is

That is why Christ is the greatest hero


A New Kind of Peace

I woke up late today

My stuffed toys smile at me

We are all adjusting

To a slower moving lifestyle

I am proud to be able to save money

And not have to work


The Internet is fast here

And there are no expectations for me

As long as I don’t do anything too stupid

I think everyone will leave me alone

I am enjoying the weather

Even though most prefer the sun


Things are doing better now

For Global Warming and related pollution

I still look 20 years younger than I am

Except for my long curly beard

I have gotten a lot done

In terms of writing and design work

I am learning new techniques

And I am exploring new ways

Of getting around and buying things


We certainly have more time

And the homeless seem to have disappeared

I found out we don’t need toilet paper

You can use a water can down your back

My bus system has been more challenging

But I have had more time with my sister and niece


We seem to get on each other nerves easily

I read about people living in seclusion

They get past a certain point and get better

Maybe I hit that point sooner

Since I am more sensitive to this

To be honest

My limitations are greater


But I just need to embrace the future

I need to make better use of the Internet

I just need to make sure

I don’t make it too easy

For others to rob me blind


I am a very creative person

And I am sure others will adapt

And find new ways to move forward

With what we now refer to as

Social Distancing

We need to interact where we are

At least 6 feet apart


It is a major change

It is good for some and not for others

Some things won’t exist going forward

But new thing will be used too

I did study disaster survival well

But i did not expect a semi-crisis

With only limited social breakdown


I am really surprised

We entered a sustained crisis

While still keeping our technology


Maybe we can eradicate communicate diseases

There seem to be less dog droppings and trash


I feel for the people

Who are essential

As they tend to make less money

And they suffer at both ends of the crisis

Some people may get a check from the government

For their cooperation and patience

There is a big election coming up

And many businesses are donating supplies


More and more countries are noticing problems

Even in backwaters and frontier zones

We seem to live in the best place

Of our entire planet

For climate and resources

And our government still fears us

So far no martial law or military presence


I guess we won’t have riots in the future

And it will be harder to persecute people

As long as we can leave at peace with ourselves

Maybe our country will be at peace with us


One thing that still concerns me

How do you have a church

While still staying 6 feet apart

Maybe we need to gather in stadiums or big parks

Or maybe we could do very small groups

Meeting in peoples’ homes

Much like the early church

Or the church in many other countries


This might be the first truly global medical crisis

That we have a common experience from

Maybe this can be a way forward internationally

We can build on this to renegotiate

Treaties to limit free trade

And thereby promote our own communities

Both wealth wise and environment wise


And this means we must get serious about the Internet

Stop tolerating hacking by anyone for any purpose

We have to protect the supply lines

And the exchange markets

The Internet must now be a place of peace

It is too important for us all now

God is Not Boring


Life as a Christian is not boring

Sometimes I wish it were

Christianity is always a challenge

In America today people seem to agree

That Christians are the problem

And the mainstream promotes everything

That is contrary to God


But the real exciting things of God

Are what He does in our lives

The spiritual growth and insights

That help us become better people

There is nothing more exciting than trying something new

But to change the direction of your life brings more joy


There is much talk about following rules under Christianity

But everything has rules

The rules help define areas of study

And give structure and meaning to every discipline

Math and Science and Languages all have extensive rules

And this is not seen as a deficiency

At least God is simple, consistent, and logical in His rules


God really only gives us one rule

The Golden Rule

Love the Lord your God

With all your mind and heart and soul

And love your neighbor as yourself

This rule is more a philosophy of life

Than a legal rule to do something

Even in God’s rules He is creative and personal and challenging


God is direct and we should be to when we talk with Him

God already knows what you think Him

So it is best to at least be honest with Him

I think our perception of what is interesting today is warped

We think that having fun means

Being out of control and destroying things

This life choice only leads to addiction and pain


Refraining from these kind of activities

Does not mean Christians cannot have fun

In fact one of the major commandments of the Old Testament

Was to celebrate numerous festivals

One of the Ten Commandments is literally to rest

And not work one day of the week

God introduced the idea of debts

Being forgiven after a period of 7 years

And giving the land rest

Which is good for the soil

God also created the concept of sex which

He actually encouraged

And there is an entire book of the Bible about sex


God knows like many wise people have found through the ages

That life is about balance

God also did most miracles in a peaceful and sometimes funny way

Like feeding people and having food drop from the sky

Or taking over towns by blowing trumpets

Or using an unusual chain of effects to fulfill a prophecy

God even spoke up for animal rights

When He had a donkey talk back to someone hitting it

And God is sad when cows are not heard mooing


Jesus actually wrestled with the ancestor of the Jews

And was born in the food bowl of a cow or sheep

He saved people from being tortured by making lions gentle

And allowing people to not be hurt after being thrown in a furnace

Christ healed people with mental and physical ailments

And ultimately saves us from Hell

The cost to Him is unimaginable suffering

But for us all we have to do is

Say a 1 minute prayer


Having fun is good but it does you no good if you end up

Permanently hurting yourself in the process

Reckless and fun are different things

Christian compatible pursuits vary

Almost as widely as the imagination will allow

Many famous Christians pursued philosophy, arts, music, literature, sports and all other types of games, crafts, hobbies, and the like

All these kind of things are considered Good Christian fun


God actually has us drink wine and play music in worship of Him

Some of the greatest secular singers in the contemporary music world

Started out singing and playing instruments in church services

Most churches that can afford it have elaborate activities

Designed for young people to do constructive and interesting things

For free usually and learn to relate with others peacefully and intelligently

Some of the biggest, oldest, and most successful charities and other relief organizations in the world

Are directly connected to churches


Do you know the secret thing that unites

People’s common criticisms of God and Christianity


Critics just find the most unpopular things

And exaggerate and fixate on these things


One of the really adventurous things

For those who like to take great risks

Is to becoming a missionary to another part of the world

This combines travel with learning about other cultures and languages

And helping poor people conquer injustice and natural disasters


For those more risk adverse

You can spread the Gospel in your communities and online

Certainly Christians can do things

Like skydiving and cave exploration

If they have a burning desire to do so


If there is something you are excited about

And have been for a long time

And the end results are something positive

Chances are this interest is the result of God calling you

To this field as your service to God


Studying the Bible can be fun too and can take many forms

Some people study the languages and cultures and traditions

Of the ancient middle east

To understand Scripture better

But this is just the tip of the ice berg

Christians have different opinions

On many of the major topics of the Bible

So being Christian does NOT mean

You have to choose a certain political party or social group or philosophy


God gives you room to express yourself

And the Christian community supports art, music, theatre, public speaking, as well as sports and crafts of all kinds

The major western philosophers were mostly doctors of divinity

This means that they were trained to be pastors academically

Before starting in philosophy


Some of the greatest art throughout most cultures and time periods

Was directly inspired by religion and religious ideas

Christianity is no exception

A lot of what people see when they visit

Major art and architecture throughout the world

Are different peoples’ perspective on a Christian idea

These Christian arts and architecture now serve as the base for

Most the cultural value of Europe

Even by secular standards

Concluding Prayer


I pray that

I may know

What are

The things that

I cannot change

And what are

Those things

Which I can


I pray that I may be as water

And have the strength of mind

To doubt the reality of pain

To realize I am but a figment

Of God’s imagination


To not be haunted by suffering

And to conquer my demons

By letting God engage the enemy

And just letting the struggle

Pass through me

As if I wasn’t even there


I doubt many things

Let me doubt the reality of pain

Let me be invincible to desire

And not be hit by

The arrows of the evil one

As if they would just cease to exist

Or that I may be removed

From their path continually


I realize evil has unimaginable power

I pray that it might not have

Such power over me

Please give me strength

To dodge the arrows

And protection for any

That may hit me

If there be a resolution

To my struggle

Let it come rapidly

And never leave me

We can be sure of very little

But I will never stop fighting

Until my issues are resolved


How does one reject

Part of society

And yet still exist

As a member of it

How does one keep

From being of the world

While dwelling within it

How do you fight a war

That has no opponent

And is not even visible

How do you conquer

Your own mind

How can I both

Let God fight for me

And yet have the strength of will

To make good decisions


We are saturated in glamorous

Portrayals of materialism

Where we find no end

To our hunger

I pray that God may

Give me the water

That only He provides

I want to never thirst again

I pray that the Lord

Be ever with me

And get me to stop and listen

Before I do something

I might later regret


Some people may think my issues

To be normal today

But morality is not based

On the latest trends

And what is right and what is wrong

Will always be the same

No matter what society thinks

No matter what it accepts or doesn’t


In Buddhism, enlightenment is defined

As the extinction of desire

In Chinese Buddhism

Monks take a vow to not fully ascend

Before every living thing has done likewise

Let me not fall into the trap

Of helping others

If it causes problems for me

That I may have the insight

To know when to stop

Let me not stop desiring completely

As that may drive me

To be a better person

Let me instead find God

To be the one

Desire of my heart


Some think Christianity can by practiced

In your spare time

They believe that you don’t need

To focus on God constantly

That you can have other important goals in your life

That family can take the place of faith

Or that you can live a normal life

That you can choose your life goals or religion

The only choice we really have is

Will you serve God at any cost

Or will you not serve God at any cost


I need no weapons in this fight

And all appears normal

Even in the midst

As to proving this reality

I have no desire

Just to say this

Faith only works

When what you believe in is real

If you believe in a religion

That is not real

There is no point

In your faith

There are many things

That are not visible

But are still real

Some things are also real

In very different ways


Spiritual things are very real

And our struggles really change things

I would prefer to live a boring life

But it seems this fight is unavoidable

If only I could lay down my pain

As a burden I no longer need to carry


I know Christ promises this

I just continually expect the worse

God does not guarantee

He will always intervene

And He is responsible

For none of our problems

We cannot expect Him

To cater to our whims

But as we are to

Pray for spiritual things


I pray for healing and liberation

For both my mind and soul

I seek to be set free

From the pains and the desires

Of my very human situation


There are no excuses

To making poor choices

To make excuses

Would downplay its significance

To not ask for salvation

Would be to prolong my pain

Is it right for me to ask

I know that in a sense

I cannot do it on my own

But if I do not make

The move to overcome

Who will


Regardless of the possibilities

I still pray for

What must require a miracle

I do not know

What the one thing

I am missing that I need

Is it grace or strength or perseverance

Or just asking God to just

Make some things impossible


We all need miracles and I am sure

God has better things to do

But He has promised to help

And has throughout many times in my life

That is the most rational explanation

For what happened then

It is not God’s fault or responsibility

But God please send Your grace

Time for God

I can still breathe

Praise God

We have had a tough year

Many have lost

The breath of life


Many are so consumed

With anger and bitterness

They barely take a breath

Before exhaling hate


We have put the economy

Through decades worth of changes

In only one year

Many lost their homes

And many struggled to breathe


In my own community

The skies literally turned

Red, orange, or yellow in color

A big nasty insect

Looms over our near future

Also orange in color


We seek an anchor

To hold us

In this time of great change

The news becomes a singularity

A choice which will unfold

As a lose-lose situation

Where have all the real people gone


We will be ok

Once we again admit

That we need God

Without conditions

With allegiance undivided


What is life

What is reality

If we find other people

On other planets

What would they think of us


The whole world pulls closer

As we continue to fight each other

Nation against nation

And those who build

Against those who destroy

Everyone and everything

Can disappear without notice


So much anger and revenge

The poor always get hit the hardest

Those who sacrifice most

Are quickly and easily forgotten

And some may never be known at all

As might be best for their own safety

We question more and more

About things we once were sure of

But do we have to be so mean

And turn on our neighbors


The Internet has finally grown up

It is now the focus of

Crime, warfare, money, and hope


We have delayed many decisions

Over and over again

But it won’t belong until

We are forced to choose

Many see the future

To be the outcome of our election

But many see us as mere pawns


We are becoming a civilization

That might leave literally nothing behind

Other than our trash

Will language and writing

Survive the information revolution

People are now bored

With any form of learning

They want to be entertained

And they want huge benefits

Even though they put out little effort


The big down to the little

Are all corrupt

From the individual to giant corporations

All focused on short terms things

Like reputation or stock portfolios

Does anyone care about anything lasting

Does tomorrow matter anymore


When we think of the state of people

And the state of our planet

The one thing all our problems

Have in common is us

We Need God

Now more than ever


Let us use this time we are voting

To stop and think and listen

Stop to take a breath

And pause to reflect

The world wants us to think

We are in control of our future

But all of us are peons

In comparison to our Creator

And we only breathe because of Him


Let us spend more time with God

And less time debating each other

Let us learn from our past mistakes

But more importantly

Learn we all need God to simply live

We appreciate our country

At least with words and pictures

But how do we show we appreciate

The Creator of us and everything else


With so much destruction in our wake

We must accept our own personal responsibility

For how things have gotten out of control

We have had many problems

Going back at least thousands of years

But never have we had such

Disrespect and contempt for God


We need to dial back the criticism

When it comes to God

And have a little humility

Considering He is watching us

Can you not believe in what you cannot prove

Can we have science leave religion alone

And have religion leave science alone


We have too much respect

For many things we don’t understand

Why is it harder to believe in a God

Who you cannot fully understand

We have a lot less control over our lives

Than we want to admit

Maybe this non-pandemic can help us

See how much we need God


As we take a moment to breathe

And listen to God’s voice

Maybe we need to take a break

From assuming we know everything

Allow some doubt in what we believe in


Not in God but those other things

That we give our allegiance to

That compete with God for our attention

This other things we think we cannot live without

Loyalties to other people, causes, and organizations

That are not focused on glorifying God


Why do we need to compromise our morality

Moral responses to problems are never easy

But religion was not meant to be easy

Because life itself is not easy

Do you think being God is so easy


The most natural thing is human nature

But that is just how we see it now

Why do we need to accept this premise

When we think of law and order

Let us think of God and His will

Not that of our chosen leaders


God has already chosen us

To be representatives of Him

In our lives and our communities

God honors us be welcoming us

Into His family

It is time we honor Him

With our time

Rhythm in Doubt

What is freedom

What are its limits

What is its cost

When do we get past this


When do we accept who we are

How do we know

What to choose and when

Are we really free

Freedom makes little sense


Are we free

To make just one choice

The choice to fight for control

Or give up and follow God


How do you win

If you just give up

How do you gain eternal life

With just one prayer


Is it a life of struggle

That cements our inner faith

Or is it a feeling

That hits us in the middle of the night


Did we just destroy ourselves

Or did I just blink

How do you make sure

You are not left behind


How do you control your will

If you are not in control

Does that mean God is

We struggle for God

But isn’t it He

That does all the work

The faith beyond reason

The logic of the spirit


How do we think like God

If we can’t read His thoughts

One you start the journey

How do you know when to stop

When you follow your conscience

Is there ever a wider road


If I die tonight

What is my life worth

If I live forever

Does this life even matter


Why does religion make more sense

To the foolish than the wise

Why does God forgive

The truly depraved


How do we know

How to please God

When we can barely

Make it through the day


Is religion an art

That we master with practice

Or a secret formula

That we are given silently


How is the Bible so simple

Yet we fail to comprehend

Is it that religion is

Hard to do right

Or do we just not care enough


Why would someone

Not believe in God

Why am I mentally will


In seeking wisdom

Why do we need a time of testing

If we fail so often

Why does God give us free choice


How do you accept pain in life

And never question God

If you care for the lost

How do you accept some

Are already found


When the road is most difficult

Why is its hard to see God

When pain overwhelms

Why does God not intervene


People talk of the problem of suffering

They talk about it as if

It is God’s problem

Did God create evil

Then we did achieve something

All on our own


If the goal is not to be good

What is the point of wisdom

If we are saved regardless

Why do we still pray

If life is so short

Why is it such a struggle


In each day we begin anew

But our sins still affect us

If it is wrong to worry

Why is it so hard to relax

God intervenes so much

So why doesn’t He show us


In each phase of life

Some have different problems

While some fight

The same enemy

All the days of their life


If we cannot get past sin

How do we live with ourselves

If we do not experience joy

How do we know what heaven is


If we cannot accept our limitations

Why do we have such ambitions

If someone has little to give

Why do they try so hard

If you cannot see God

Why does He always stay close


When your time runs out

Why do you fear the inevitable

How can you just accept

That people will suffer

And not try to stop it

How can you accept Christianity

And ever give up the fight


If you truly do not believe in God

Why are you so angry with Him

We think we are so logical

But most of our lives are emotional

What makes us different from animals

Is our subjectivity not our souls


Why would God create something good

He would later throw away

If He wants to save us

Surely He has a plan for animals


When we see how evil the world is

How can we accept our contributions

When we see others suffer unnecessarily

Why don’t we try something different


If we believe in God

Why does politics matter so much

If we believe God is real

Why are we so afraid of the devil


If we do not fear ourselves

Can we say we have read the Bible

If we never struggled

How could we understand how bad we are


If we never find a resolution

Can we ever get past our failures

If there is no point in life

What is the point in saying that

What is the point of saying God is dead

Does that mean we don’t exist


If science has the last word

What happens when they change their minds

If morality varies by age and time

What is the point of being good

If we cannot experience heaven on earth

How can we make it until we get there


There is a gut response to things

And there is a more educated guess

Should they be different or the same

We have emotional questions

Why do we expect logical answers to them

Young Earth


The following poem is a fantasy story illustrating many ideas in philosophy from Taoism, Existentialism, and ideas about having Schizophrenia and ideas from Tolkien and the music of Max Richter.

This is not meant to be about religion nor is it any account of actual history.

I did try to make it so it was not directly contrary to the Bible, but it is not meant to be Biblical in any way.

It was written in a stream of consciousness while I was very much awake.

Some of the events may not even be logical and have holes in reasoning as is in many stories and even many people's theories of things.


A sound in the early morning

Like a singe ray of light

Bursting in like a robber

From out of nowhere

Growing slowly

Like a child in the womb

To a young adult


Then a break in the noise

And the fall of soft rain

Another melody starts

Like a single note

From a single instrument

In the audience of a symphony


An invisible hand

Orchestrates the start of morning

The sun races across the sky

And the day is like night

Slowly fading into yellow


Did I miss the day

Lost in a dream


Sleep is a strange thing

Spontaneous and subtle in nature

Exporting us to another reality

The other side of our mind

That takes backstage

During our waking hours


When we are not asleep

We fixate on little things

Like the tapping of the rain

Upon the window

And the footsteps pacing above


But although we think our minds empty

When we dream

It is in these silent times

That our minds race

Creating thoughts and reconciling events


Emotions are more vivid

As our logical side diminishes

We experience dreams as impulses

As an older time in our history

Before the modern wold

Before even farms and cities


When the land was at rest

And it was we who were hunted

That early development in our minds

That predates our understanding of history


A reality like that of a foreign world

Where we responded to action

Without excessive thought

We need to be people who fought

Not in a metaphorical sense

But ones that struggled just to live


Where we experienced freedom

In its rawest form

Where fear was ever present

And sights and sounds were heightened

And our daily experiences

Were surreal and eventful


A day did not go by

That we did not struggle for our lives

Our minds were clear as the outdoor air

Unclouded by the factories and megacities

Our minds were so clear

That we could see even in the dark

Our thoughts took flight and emitted light


We were not separate from nature

And every experience was spiritual

We did not need to find enlightenment

As wisdom was not challenged by technology


The first tool was fire

Like a double edged sword

It cut both ways

And enemy and a friend

Much as other people, animals, and our entire world


With each step forward

Everything was new

There was always plenty of wood

And the rivers were full of fish


We did not sit down in school

We were always running

As soon as we learned to crawl

There was no need for speech

For ages sound was a luxury


We treated each other as rivals

We respected each other

But were able to respond to violence

In less than a moment’s notice


What we knew at the time

Was not like what we now write down

Even then we had no words

For most of what we felt and believed


God was very real to us

Much as He is in your time as well

We respected God

And He did not anger us


With each passing day

We looked to the stars

And just accepted His role

We knew that He was our Creator

And we were His children


We lived in a vast garden

Tended to by Him

As we grew older

We began to walk with Him

In the cool of the day


We never thought of technology

Like you do today

And our knowledge of fear

Was of merely a warning

And pain was similar


We did not fear death

As we did not die yet

What you think of now as violence

Started out just as a game

To test our skills and strength of mind


We used to leave our homes

With no locks or guards

There was no reason for walls

As no one was trying to steal

As we had no possessions


We had heard of a great city

A city of light on a hill

It was thought of as an idea

But some believed it real


The way to it was like a gate

The gate was overgrown with vegetation

And there were no people around it

It stood in the center of the garden


We knew to not go near it

Because it was our one rule

We called it the golden rule

Because from the gate it glowed

Like the golden fish in our rivers


This color was unlike any other

It was not just a color

But a mist and a living and moving thing

We approached it with reverence


From the water surrounding it

We drank for strength and vitality

Only one at a time

In each family


We had one person

Be drawn into the light

And pass on to the other side

We never heard of them again


Soon we saw a great warrior

Stand before us with a great blade

And he was surrounded with fire

With each swing of his sword


The vegetation caught fire

And we were soon left

With a patch of dirt and ash

Much like that of a volcano


We then scattered across

The entire planet

People feared death then

So many died soon after


It was hard to grow things

And we starved for many years

Without the light from the portal

The nights were even darker

And sleep was less satisfying


Even in our darkest moments

We held out hope of our Creator

To provide us a way forward

From the consequences of our sin


We heard a prophecy about a book

That would be written

That told our story

And that God Himself

Would enter our world

And defeat the evil within us


Many people wanted to join together

And build great stone monuments

And live under the rule of other people

In exchange they were protected and fed well


Those who resisted this change

Would have to fight wars

To stand their ground

And worship God instead of technology


We would not bow down to the leaders

So the cities rejected us

And we began a great migration

To the other side of the world


Some thought the world was ending

But this was just the beginning

Our descendants did not survive long

But our story did



Waiting Time

Standing in line

To enter the gas chamber

Standing in line

To throw a live grenade

Waiting to ship off

For basic training

Waiting for my enlistment to end

Waiting for the fear to lessen

Waiting to get my disability recognized

Waiting for the fatigue to pass

Waiting for a better medicine


Waiting for terrorism to end

Waiting for us to stop torturing

Waiting for the government

To stop stalking us

Waiting for the government

To get something done

Waiting for the news

To stop making people afraid

Waiting for the politicians

To stop screaming for once


Waiting for the riots to end

Waiting for the tear gas to dissipate

Waiting to be evacuated

Waiting for the fires to end

Waiting for businesses to reopen

Waiting for the governor’s latest notions

Waiting for a new president

Waiting for this era to end


Waiting for people to accept

The modern world is failing

Waiting for people to accept

It is all our own fault

Waiting for God to return

Waiting to see Heaven


Is it just a different

Way of thinking

Or only a technology

Or does it go deeper

We have long forgotten

The difference between

Hunter-gather and farming societies

It is one of those things

We just assume that it is better

We just assume it is a better way

We just assume it is the only way

We think about machines

The same way today

There existence is just assumed

To make life better

Along the way

The goal posts are moved

And the basis for comparison is lost

Our world moves faster and faster

It used to be timeless

Now we are using everything up

We are going through centuries

Of social revolution in mere decades

We are again running out of energy

And running out of raw materials

Like before the Spanish and Portuguese

Started their colonies

And first challenged the Ottomans

But we have nowhere to go now

And no one to conquer

There is no way for us to start over

Individually or collectively

We cannot even go out for an evening

Into the woods and hear ourselves think

Or go anywhere far from people

The wild animals are finding few places

To stay away from people

We cannot really sleep well

As our screens are always on

Even when the lights are out


Popular computer use in general started

As an escape from the modern world

Many people thought meaningful change

Would have happened by now

Many put great hope in the Internet

It was my generation’s frontier

And people had the ability

To work together and improve our world

Like all utopias the scammers came in

And so many found such easy money

It really is a deep element

In the soul of our nation

Not thinking of consequences

Not thinking deeply enough

We swindled the Native Americans

And got their rightful inheritance

We fooled ourselves

Thinking China would sleep forever

And that the Russians

Would not copy our strategies

That we would keep our greatest secrets

No matter how sloppy we became

From those we thought were irrelevant

And the poorest and weakest

Have now climbed our backs

And have turned the tables on us

They are working harder than ever

And we are working as little as possible

It is said that during the medieval period

Peasants ascended to royalty

And royalty descended into peasants

This would take a total of 6 generations

For the complete cycle

What we consider living like a monk today

Would be considered hedonistic

In most eras of history

And even most regions of the world today


Why do we find it so hard

To think outside the box

That we have created

To make the modern world

Why do we seem to run into problems

Wherever we look

We seek big and flashy solutions

Like great dams or great submarines

At the same time

We look to solve our problems

With as little effort as possible

Spending money is of often easier

For us than devoting time

To many this world

Would seem like a utopia

And yet many people today are unhappy

And the suffering in the world

Is greater than ever before

Is this technology’s fault

Or is it that we substituted science for God


We are now ruled by the machines

And those who understand them

Because we are treating them as magic

They hold power in our lives

Because we value them greatly

But we will never become better people

And so with such amazing power

We abuse it like with every other addiction

We want the power it gives us

But we do not want to do the hard work

To understand and use it responsibly

Computers were supposed to make life easier

But they have really made life more complicated

Part of the problem is computers were never designed

For the uses we use them for now

In terms of reliability, security, and compatibility

Computers almost never happened

And most of the history of the last 500 years

Needed to happen as it did

For us to even have computers

As we now know them

And we wanted more and more features

Which made things more and more complex

And then we ran into the problem

Of people using computers

Without ever learning how

They really work underneath

Then we drag in our fights in politics and religion

Into every aspect of the Internet

We basically magnify and recycle

The same ideas until they become dangerous


Security has gotten really bad

As the professional criminals

Just started a few years ago

To use the Internet

As the main venue for crimes

We are becoming a society

Where it is impossible to enforce laws

Because anyone can fake anything now

Including our identities

Which will make law enforcement irrelevant

And the police are actively and deliberately

Making the problem much worse

For themselves and us


How do we as mere peons

Affect any change in this world

Spiritually, of course!

We first must accept that

We cannot change others

We have to look in the mirror

And change that person

We can always make things better or worse

No matter who or where we are

We can choose our attitude

If we can choose nothing else

It is hard to wait on the world to change

But maybe we can change

Our individual lives

And find peace and joy spiritually

We can make everything

We do have control over

The best we can make it

And we just need to make sure

The machines don’t control our souls

They need to serve us

Not the other way around

Just as we need to serve God