A Weak Heart: Benjamin-Newton Studies

Benjamin-Newton Studies: The Never Ending Website

The Never Ending Website

Website Summary

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At the speed of the worlds fastest sprinter
In the twinkle of a distant star
Up and down like the feet of a cross country runner
Like the jostle of packages in an old delivery van

With the attention span of newborn puppy
Like the heart beat of a dying man
We feel nothing more than a child does
And our words rarely go beyond mad, sad, and happy

How can we describe what we cannot pin down
How can be hope to treat what we cannot prove
Each sentence an essayist writes
Can only capture what can be put into words

If we cannot speak or comprehend
The voices in another’s mind
How can we hope to lessen another’s pain
Or share in their boundless joy

Like a stuffed toy listening and pondering in silence
We need to have the patience of a monk
And the strength of will necessary for proper meditation

Like the burst of the big bang
We feel wave after wave of fear
Like a giant whirlpool
Our joy runs down the drain

When we hurt, sometimes it just doesn’t stop
Even when we cry out to God
We can spend countless hours in counseling
Even every day

Sometimes the joy just rushes out of us
Like a firefighter rushing away to a fire
Sometimes we hurt so much
All we can do is cry

When you are both terrified and hopeless
There is a little a therapist can do
As that is not the way the medicines work

They can put you down in an instant
But resolving loneliness and emptiness
Is a lifetime struggle

Sometimes the self help books
Are at once too much and too little
Sometimes our problems just don’t fit into any system

Some philosophers have thought of this situation
And that is why I read philosophy
Sometimes the patient must heal himself

When you don’t know what to pray
And you are really stuck in shifting sands
Do the seeming unexpected
Thank God for His help

We plan ahead way too much
For all the wrong things
We need to let things be
After we have done all we can

Time may heal all wounds
But when it hurts so much
How do you have patience
Sometimes you have no choice

Being stuck in pain and fear
And knowing it will continue
And there is no way out of it
That is the definition of true terror

There are some choices
You cannot come back from
Sometimes being too aware
Can paralyze you

Sometimes in one split second
Eternity can pass multiple times
When you have no power or choice
You know you have joined the military

When you see no joy in your future
Maybe you can provide joy for others

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Informational Website

This is an Old School Informational website

General Book Statistics

  • 2,686 pages of unique text written over 20 years
  • average of 1 essay or poem written every week for over 20 years
  • average of 134 pages written every year for over 20 years

Quick Facts About the Author and Designer

I am all of the following

I am from and live in Eugene, Oregon (America)

Website Ownership

BENjamin-NEWton's Studies and BENjamin-NEWton's 2.0 © Ben Huot 1998-Present.

Website designs and all content not marked with a specific license copyrighted, from 1998-Present.

I am the webmaster, so that I not only create everything on these websites, but also have designed and done all the technical things, to make this site work well, on a wide range of the most popular devices.

I have worked on all this for 20 years now, while understanding that I would never make any money off of it, as my niche is too small.

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License

This website adheres to the following

No Money

Entire E-Book Downloads, in Multiple Popular Formats

  • No Cost
  • No Ads
  • No DRM

Privacy Respected

  • No Tracking
  • No Ads
  • No Personal Information

No Bugging You

  • No Selling
  • No App
  • No Newsletters

No Subtle Ads/Selling

  • No Memberships
  • No Sponsored Articles
  • No Donations Accepted

Nothing In Your Way

  • No Signups
  • No Password or Email Asked For
  • No User Agreements

No Tracking

  • No Cookies
  • No Analytics
  • No 3rd Party Code

No Permissions Asked For

  • No Geolocation
  • No Microphone or Camera Access
  • No Contact or Photos Access

None of the More Risky New Technologies

  • No AR or VR
  • No 3D
  • No 3rd Party Domains or CDNs

None of the Slower Things

  • No Background Videos
  • No Giant Photos
  • No Social Media Share Buttons

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