Pseudo Fear: Benjamin-Newton Studies

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I know much about fear personally
As this is my major diagnosis
As I am certified mentally ill
I have been afraid since I joined the military
And now continue to be so many years after

Twice in my adult lifetime
The leaders got the people
To all fall in line
Behind the latest fad fear
First it was against a type of combat
And now it is against a flu

This all happens while real issues
That will really destroy the economy
Like the coming apocalypse
(Although God likely won’t be coming soon)
Also known as climate change
Will bring us to our knees literally and figuratively

90% plus of voting America
About half of the population
Accepts the same major worldview
They are motivated by fear primarily
To do anything someone tells them they must do
Giving up their rights is considered appropriate
That our country was founded on

How can a person call themselves patriotic
If they don’t share the same ideas
Their country was founded on
Who they claim to admire
And who so many suffered for

Those who bear the brunt of the suffering
Necessary for our way of life
And the crazy political decisions we make
Are actually US citizens in the Army

I know that many in the military
Serve for their own reasons
Many people are in situation in America today
Where serving in the military
Actually improves their situation

But for many they are basically tricked
And try to get out as soon as possible
There are also fewer and fewer American citizens
Willing to join under any conditions

The conditions are not understandable
That we live under while serving in the military
From the average US citizen's point of view
The military is run as a dictatorship
Like a corporation but they expect much more
And you are never really off duty
And you cannot leave without a US Senator intervening
(Except in my unusual case)

It is not just that you are under
Almost impossible rules
And unbelievable penalties
For the smallest infractions

You quickly realize your only option
Is to do whatever your superiors dream up
That combined with the disasters of combat is terrifying
Even when I was in
It was also common to be exposed to toxic chemicals
No matter where or what you did

Another aspect is that the pay is ridiculously low
And you do not get most of the
Advertised advantages for various reasons
I was unimaginably lucky that my superiors
Realized that I was mentally ill
And let me go or I would likely have been
Sent back for another enlistment

The churches have an interesting relationship
With the military on base
And I have mixed feelings
About those experiences I had in church
While serving in the military
This probably impacted my present understanding of the Church
And its relationship to the government and society
From these experiences

But the churches were very active on base
And this gave me hope
But they always seemed to support the military
When they counseled you
Many people do not know this
But there are many different churches
On military bases of any size

The military as a whole
Did not particularly believe in God
When I was in there
But religion was used to motivate us

Our head drill sergeant prayed for us
Before we went to qualify at the rifle range
And we were given the choice of
Doing chores or going to church
On Sundays during Basic Training

I never felt safe while in the military
And I quickly realized there was more to it
Than was advertised by my recruiter sergeant
I thought I was going to work in an office environment

And I had asked directly about chemical weapons
And was told no one uses them any more
And the gas chamber is not that bad an experience

Later I found out through my training
Basically the entire Army works on the front lines together
And you are all infantry
Non Infantry just get to carry more gear

But the constant fear was a source of energy for me
I never trusted anyone as I knew
They could do anything they wanted with me
I thought a lot of those who were my direct superiors
As they have the hardest job of all

Most the people at my level of rank
Were amazing people to work with
But I never trusted anyone farther up
Or what my immediate superior
Might be made responsible for making sure I did

So I am still afraid of many things today
But for people to fear death more than they do pain
Is hard to understand
Death does take us all and relatively quickly
In the grand scheme of things

If you are not at peace with death
I would recommend you deal with that as soon as possible
Instead of encouraging the government
To remove all civil liberties

Just like the war on terrorism
The flu will never leave us
And the legislation will last forever
Not only does our legal system lookout past decisions
As the guide for future decisions
These computer systems will then remain in use
For whoever want to use them in the future

Privacy is not a cop out to get away with crime
Anymore than putting a lock on your door does
Privacy is another word for encryption and anonymity
Which are the basis for economic stability
In the modern world economy

Just like in 2008 no one understood how big a risk
People were taking with our future
Because much like the environmental crisis
No one understands the math
Or has the ability to access every piece information

Just as Jesus said in the Gospels
That this is a wicked and rebellious generation
And no sign will be given but the death and resurrection of Christ
If they didn’t believe the prophets or in what Moses said
They will not believe me no matter what

People today only believe in what they see
We really should not engage
In advancing our technology
To the point where things happen
That we don’t understand
Are unwilling or unable to learn
And we do not trust those who do understand
Of course that might require
Some self control or government regulations

So this next few centuries
Will be much wilder a ride
Than the last 20 years
And this will be a major die off
For all the life forms
That we are emotionally fond of
Don’t worry the creepy insects will do fine
And grow in numbers and range

When in the Age of Revolutions
We gave up religion
In order to usher in the modern age
As a society we lost our morality
That is the basis for our problems today

We are no better than our ancestor were
We just have more power
Without the wisdom or moderation of a belief system
And have completely rejected the Christian God
And in so doing do not have the outside help
To overcome our problems

Benjamin-Newton.com by Ben Huot

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