What are We Waiting For?: Benjamin-Newton Studies

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I am not patient sometimes
Other times it is easy
The scary and the painful
This is what is hard to deal with
It is not death but aging
It is not the end but the journey
I fear those things I cannot prepare for
I fear those things which cannot be avoided

I do not fear being old
Or getting slower and weaker
I take confidence in protection
From what God has promised
But even faithful Christians suffer
More than we think should happen
It is unfair to blame God
For the mistakes we have made
For things He has never promised

Simply waiting through the boredom
As a person standing in line
For a very long time
Waiting for love or companionship
Never experiencing adventure or romance
Never being important or even useful
These are easier to accept

Being a peon has its advantages
Being useless is one of the greatest protections
People now fight for fame
Until their lives are destroyed
By jealousy and revenge
If I had to choose
Between boredom and suffering
I would always choose boredom

Many fear plateauing in their faith
But if it is a high plateau
Doesn’t that mean you have previously
Ascended a tall mountain
To be finished with your trials
Is one of the greatest feelings
To have finished creating something
Is a joy in and of itself

It is understandable to fear suffering
But fearing loneliness and rejection
That only requires a little waiting
In light of this being a very short life
Even ninety years is little in terms of eternity
Suffering is different in that time is accelerated
Ninety minutes in waiting is not the same
As nine minutes of suffering

We only understand the world
From our point of view
And whether or not you can explain away
Someone else’s trials
Does not make them easier
I would be reasonable to be more afraid
Of hurting others
But more honest to be more afraid
Of our own painful experiences

Pain is more real than boredom
And suffering outdoes any distraction
If only I had the strength of mind
To overcome the fear and the pain
If only we could make reality change
To experience only the good or ordinary
It is selfish to care about yourself
More than you do others
But it is also human to be selfish

Sacrifice is not so difficult
Depending on what you give up
Some things hurt more than others
Some things are easier to do without
Patience is easy
When you don’t add pain or fear
Which effectively amplifiers the suffering

When we think of the sacrifices of Christ
And choose not to respond in kind
To prevent the suffering of others
This makes us realize how weak and common we are
When I think of whether I would be a hero
Or whether I would rather just hide in shame
It does not hurt as much to be called a coward
Than it does to have the pain of the victim

We think we are good people
Until we realize we have sacrificed nothing
When others were in pain
How much would we take the punishment of others
Just because we are kind
Can we even call ourselves true believers
If we cannot accept persecution silently
If we cannot hurt so others do not
Are we real followers of Christ
Would we do better to admit that to unbelievers
So that better Christians could serve better examples

How can we consider ourselves disciples
And lecture others about morality
When we are unwilling to confront our own demons
How can we be fallen and yet lights for others
If our faith is only lukewarm
How can we serve as the salt of the earth

Some fear death
Some fear boredom
All fear pain
How do you accept the pain and still act
This is what heroism is
That is why Christ is the greatest hero

Benjamin-Newton.com by Ben Huot

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