One of the biggest mysteries to Christianity is why are so many Christians so unkind? It would be much easier, if all Christians were just kind like Jesus and it would make defending the Gospel easier. The sad truth is that none of us are even good, by our own low standards. Unlike what many people think, you do not get into heaven by being better behaved then others. Otherwise, none of us would get in.
Christianity and just general life as a human being involves constant choices, where we decide who we will be, in the future, with each choice we make. Even a mostly kind person can be and often is cruel at sometimes in their lives and mostly mean people are often kind at least sometimes.
There are many reasons why we are unkind, but what really matters to us is what we follow through with action wise. Even when we try to avoid choosing, we make a choice then as well. So why would a Christian be kind, if they never gets any reward for it? Christians are often kind, because of what God has done for us, or after watching how animals behave a lot of times.
So, if kindness is a choice, is it a learned trait. So can people become kind, who were not raised to be kind. I think that is what Christianity is about. This is what you will see in any Christian, who is really trying, is that, over time, you will see real change, in their lives. Kindness is just one of the attributes, that Christians should strive for. It is hard for many people to understand why God would save people, who are not even trying.
But the thing is that we never really know who has committed their lives to God and has asked for forgivness for their sins. Many people, in Church, have never accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. In fact, the Church is one of the biggest targets for spiritual warfare. There are likely people in every Church who come every Sunday and always seem divisive, but have huge power and act very selfish, could be there just to cause problems and may totally reject God and everything about Him.
One of the hardest things to accept about Christianity is forgiveness. We are happy to get forgiven by God, when we are saved, but we don't really understand what that means until we forgive someone else for doing something really bad to us. When we do something really bad to others, especially as Christians, we start learning what the cost of evil is. Then we begin to appreciate what Christ has done for us, in a much more tangible way and the Gospel makes much more sense.
God has never taken the easy route. The way God has chosen to judge us by His grace and by our faith, He has opened what they say "a can of worms". For God, everyone's life is a special case. How can anyone really know what someone's true intent is in life and if they are really trying or not?
No one knows everything about your life and everything you did and why and all your past and all the factors of every situation. No one really knows if you have genuinely submitted your life to Christ. Only God knows and it is far from simple even for Him.
So when we ask why are so many Christians mean, if we are Christian, we should know why because all of that failure and selfishness exists in us as well. If we are not Christian, then it is going to be hard to accept, until a Christian forgives us, for a major evil we committed to the Christian. That is why we, as Christians need to realize that we are representatives of God and that forgivness is a two edged sword and it cuts both ways. In the Lords prayer, we actually pray for God to forgive us only as much as we forgive others.
So when you see a Christian commit a sin, understand first that you do not really know if they are truly a Christian, second that would you have done any better, think of how God will forgive you when you commit a similar evil act, and finally think of how you are going to forgive something someone did to you like that. To God, everything matters, but to other people, the actions are really what matters most. But these actions first arise in our minds and start from what we are thinking and our true intent.
So, the key to understanding the God, the Bible, and Christianity is to understand what forgiveness means. And this just comes with life experiences and especially being around Christians. Being Christian does not mean you are a good person. Becoming a Christian, means you have accepted that you are a bad person.
A Christian is very much like an addict. The only thing that they have to be proud about is God and what He has done for them. There is nothing that we do to earn a spot in Heaven: that is the definition of Grace - that it is freely given.
If you think you are better than Christians, then you might be happier with another religion or wait until you are convinced. Being good does not get you anywhere with God, because, first you are already supposed to do so like following government laws, second of all God chose not to judge us this way, third we aren't actually good people and are doing bad things, and finally even if we were perfect, we still would be nothing in comparison to God in every other way.